I am serious as I ask him to take me away from here. I am just so tired of living with all this pain and trauma.
"Where do you want to go?" He asked pressing my forehead making me sigh.
My head and eyes hurt so much. I don't know what compelled me to cry. Like me cry.
The moment he said those words, it was like my tears were waiting to hear those words. They fell down my eyes without any warning and I couldn't help but feel the heaviness leave my body just like that.
"Anywhere. Just away from this mess"
"Okay" that's all he said.
I leaned more into his warmth and let the emotions flow freely. He kept massing my forehead.
I don't know how long we sat there like that. A knock on the door bought me back out of the dreamland.
"Sir the dinner is ready" the butler said from outside.
"We are coming" he replied "C'mon you need to eat or you'll get more thin"
"I am not thin okay" I sniffed and rubbed my nose on his shirt.
"Aren't you getting a little tooo comfortable kitten" I just shrugged.
I stood up but then it was all black in front of my eyes. I held my head because it throbbs and suddenly I feel like throwing up.
Once I could see everything properly I rushed to the washroom. I threw up everything I had in the breakfast.
I felt him behind me, holding my hairs and rubbing my back as I threw my gut out. Fuck I feel so weak.
I rinsed my mouth and leaned on the wall. I feel my whole body shaking with weakness.
If this wasn't enough, I felt blood ozzing from my nose. I feel the panic attacj kicking in. No not again please.
"Shhh relax calm down. Don't stress your brain" he rubbed my arm in a soothing manner "Think about something good. A moment you felt good. Something that makes you happy and alive"
I started and I saw one face Him
The moment when I first met him at the park. The moment our eyes met, I forgot everything.
Every moment I spent with him flashes in front of my eyes.
Our banter and those eyes contacts.
The day when I woke up in his arms and had the best sleep of my life.
The almost kiss we had that night under the rain.
Him taking care of me when I was in the hospital.
I feel my body relaxing and my breathing getting back to normal. I slowly open my eyes only to look into his worried eyes.
Why did I see him when he clearly asked me to think about something that makes me happy? I agree that he makes me feel different but why did I see him when I closed my eyes?
"Come let's feed you something and then take medicines you will feel good then" he said.
But iI don't know what got into me that I hugged him and his my face in his neck. His intoxicating smell calming down my nerves in an instant.
He encircled his hands and hugged me back. His one hand rubbing my back.
I broke the hug and he removed the hair strands from my face. His face looks serene and his eyes speak something that I want to know eagerly.
He didn't say anything and picked me up in bridal style. He took me to the dining table and placed me on the seat.
Our plates are already served. But just looking at food makes me want to throw up again.
"I don't want to eat" I said rubbing my chest because I really what to vomit now.
"You need to eat kitten. No arguments" he strictly said.
I made faces and he just put a small morsel in front of my mouth. I opened my mouth and he fed me.
He continued feeding me along with eating himself. His one action making my heart heavy. I don't remember the last time someone fed me food willingly.
Mom never fed me even when I was a child. Even when my hand was fractured, I myself ate the food because no one simply cared.
"Hey where are you lost?" His voice broke my trance.
"Nothing. I am full now" he glared me and made me eat more food.
After that he took me back to my room. Of course he picked me up again as if I don't weigh anything.
"God I feel my stomach will burst out" which is true guys. He fed me too much food
"You need strength kitten. You are weak and your medicines are of high dose" he said forwarding me my medicines.
I made faces because it tastes too bad but I need these or else I will be admitted yet again.
"Now stop thinking and sleep. Your body needs rest. I am right here if you need anything" I nodded and he left my room.
I don't know why but I wanted him to stay here, with me. I want, no I need him near me.
I lay down and look at the celing. As I think back, I didn't have any reason to think about that incident. But God knows what compelled me to go back the memory lane and get hurt again.
What all do I have to go through? I also want to feel the happiness like a normal person without the fear of losing everything.
I also want someone to hold me in my bad times and be there for me. Someone to love me without wanting anything in return. Who will that person be who will love me?
The door of my room opened and he entered inside. He came and sat on the other side of the bed.
He has changed from his formals and is now wearing a black sweatpants and a sky blue tshirt.
"What.. what are you doing here?" I asked.
"Giving you a head massage" he said applying the balm on my forehead and stared massaging it.
It feels so good. The pain is subsiding real quickly. His massage is working faster than those stupid medicines.
He keeps taking care of me forgetting that he is the one who came back after a long day. He must be tired himself.
I held his hand "It feels better now. You take rest you look tired"
He shook his head and went to the washroom to wash his hand. He came back and laid down on the other side.
Just sometime back I wanted him near me and now that he is near me why do I feel something weird in my stomach?
"Sleep Saanvi. You need to rest as much as you can. And we have to go on a trip as well right so you need energy for that also" he said turing the lights off.
We laid in silence. I can't sleep. My mind is again getting a mess. I know he isn't sleeping either.
"Nikhil?" I called and he just hummed "Can I... Can I umm"
I didn't complete the sentence when he pulled me in his embrace. My head is resting on his chest and his one hand is stroking my hairs.
How does he know I wanted to ask for this? Is he a mind reader or something?
"Stop stressing this little brain of yours kitten and sleep. I am right here for you" he kissed my temple and a smile made it's way on my face.
I got more comfortable in his arms. I put my one leg over his and my arms around him tightened more. He closed the remaining distance between us and we cuddled into each other.
Why does this not feel bad to me? Why do I feel at peace being in his arms?
Wait! Do I feel something for him?
This was the last thought I had in my mind before I drifted to sleep. I did feel him kissing my forehead and then I just slept.
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